Ryan was 7 when we welcomed his little sister into our family. Our beautiful little girl and his awaited younger sister.
When she was born we were so excited and definitely unprepared that we will be parents to and Ryan will be brother to little girl with special needs.
He soon realized, however, he wasn’t going to be a traditional brother like his friends were. “Why is she not talking or walking ? Why is she not playing with me ? He asked.
It took some time , a lot of explaining and anxiety to make him understand and come to terms that his sister is "different". But none the less she is our " special " girl that we all love dearly.
Now at nearly 10 years old Ryan accepts and cherishes his sister. But it took a long road to get here “There are certain stages you go through.”
He would get frustrated that she does not play with him, does not let him cuddle her , won't walk or speak as other toddlers do.
He would not understand that due to lack of support and therapies mummy and Leah are regularly going away to get her help that she needs.
Slowly, over many months, a shift occurred. He started seeing his sister not as a source of frustration, but as a unique person with her own little personality and strengths.
When she started walking , bubbling and giving him cuddles a shift occurred. It also helped taking him with me to some of her therapies as he finally understood what was happening. He is also super proud of her progress and he cheers her on.
Sibling like Ryan are often deeply impacted by a brother or sister with special needs.
They often are struggling with emotional or behavioral issues, which affects not only them but the whole family.
There were times when Ryan would get anxious when Leah was anxious. If his sister was having a tantrum, he would get often upset and stressed.
I noticed that I often try to shield Ryan from what is happening. Although my approach is well-intentioned,I wonder if it can cause more harm than good?
I also noticed that I do like to create an inclusion and involve Ryan into conversations, listen to his opinions and make him part of the team so he feels needed.
I also make sure that I do set aside a special time for each of the children. We often have Ryan and mammy date when it is only me and him. I want to remind him and assure him that I am always here for him. I want us to cherish this special time together.
I am now looking for emotional support for my boy as finding himself in this situation can be challenging for a young person like Ryan. I wa t to help him with his own mental health and his wellbeing. This proofs extremely difficult:(
I will discuss is in the separate post
