It is hard to be strong for your children every minute of the day. Parenting a special need child is so hard. The internal fight with emotions and feelings is real. All in all you are their voice and the pressure is real.
Some would think what are you taking about? Clearly if you do not have a special needs child you may never understand what parents like myself are feeling or facing. Sometimes every day is a battle. Battle with yourself, battle with your child , battle with the system or those around you. People around me don’t know. They don’t understand the pressure that I am under every single day raising a child with special needs
Sometimes people do not comprehend the challenges we need to face.
I have days when I feel so alone. I feel that people do not like to be around me and sometimes it is me who avoids people.
Unless you are raising a child with special needs, you don’t know what it is like to yearn for normal life for your child, for the acceptance and understanding.
Lately I do question every decision I take and every choice I make. Have I made the right choice ? Will this work out ? Should I leave things as they were ? Am I doing enough ? Could I do more ? Should I do things differently? Am I really doing all I can do?
I feel anxious. I feel scared. I feel on edge.
Sometimes, the feeling that I am failing at being a parent is so overwhelming.
I worry for the future all the time. What will happen to my child when I am not around? I don’t know what’s going to happen with my child when they become an adult?
There is a lot of effort stay calm and be kind when all I can feel are mixed emotions of anger, joy, feeling defeated, and hope when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I do hope that the choices I make are the right one. I hope I can channel my child voice and take the best decision for them. It is a huge responsibility. I can feel the weight on my shoulders. But I truly trust that my gut feeling are correct ❤️